Maybe I'm not that strong after all....

Being sick and all, I began to think about my situation in a pessimistic sort of way. As I've said, being sick overseas is not a very good experience at all. Nobody to fuss over you, no one to take care of you, basically nobody gives a damn. Not that I require somebody to fuss over me but I feels good to have someone giving a damn about you sometimes.

Today, my colleagues went off early as they needed to use internet access in the room while I needed to stay alone to finish my stuff. I was singing and humming and whistling away in the room. Anybody in the same room with me would have thought that I'm either very happy or very siao liao. (Of cos I'm alone lah!) Then halfway through, I found myself digging at old memories to keep myself happy. Of cos not all memories are good, but they are all I have for company at this point of time.

Sounds miserable? Well, abit lah. While some people out there might envy me, think about this. It is not really fun to walk 30 mins in sub zero temperature every morning and night for work, although I must admit that it was refreshing in the 1st 2 weeks. No friends here except for those online and my colleagues are not exactly fun loving types. So you can imagine how my weekends are spent. As for family, its more impossible. Just a short phone call 1~2 times a week. 10~ 12 hours of work a day followed by a 4x4m room to stay at night, fully equipped with a unheated bathroom, which is at an average of 5 degrees everyday. Hmmm... how come sounds abit like prison huh? Muahahaha..

Then as I was walking back alone just now, I noticed how big and round the moon was. It was 元宵 last night and I did not even know it until now. Just as I was looking at the moon, four phrases came naturally into my mind.

床前明月光，

疑是地上霜，

举头望明月，

低头思故乡.

Suddenly, the meaning of these phrases had never seemed so clear....