Letter to HDB

14 March 2008

Housing and Development Board

To whom this may concern:

RE: Please Do Not Make Us Wait So Long Laaaaa

I am writing in to beg you to allocate us a good queue number for our next ballot for the flats. I know there are many couples out there like us who have waited even longer for a new pigeon hole. Maybe I can give you a reason why you should consider giving us a good chance the next time round. Actually, the reason is very simple, I really do not want to be housemates with the pigeons living in my roof currently, and would very much prefer my own pigeon hole instead.

For some time now, pigeons seem to find my current home an attractive place to hang out, so much so that some have decided to marry, and start a family in my roof, right above my bedroom. It is bad enough that I have to put up with their rough landings, tap dancing, koo-koo-koo-ing, and babies chirping, recently, I suspect one of them has died and decomposed right up there in my roof! The stench of decomposition for the last week was pretty strong that I had to sleep in the living room or brother's room (once again!). And oh, I even resorted to wearing a face mask as I moved around my room last week. Hilarious, huh? Not really, you know, Officer, if you think of the germs that the decomposed bird may have.

I think it would be some time before the roof/bird/pest people came to give our roof a good clearing-up, as I think I am living in a stat board. Several quotations have to be gathered before the pay master will agree to get some action going. Being in a stat board yourself, I am sure, Officer, that you would understand this. I am just hoping that it would take a little faster over on your side, as mine is the mother of all stat boards.

I have a roach problem too, but I do not want to go into that. To sum it all up, I am living in a roach-infested room, with a family of birds in my roof. I am hoping that with this, HDB can consider granting me a good queue number in the next ballot.

Please laaa, Officer...

Thank you, and I hope to hear good news from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,

Ah Mi (Ms)