Denied!

Today, the result of our final HDB ballot came out, and it was a whopping 4 digit queue number. Not that we expect some 2 digit number or what, but it's still quite discouraging to us.

Before the result was out, I learnt of a trick from some forumers (yes I read singaporebrides forums) that if you check the source of the page containing your flat application, you can see the appointment date allocated to you. So I did that trick, and saw that we were actually allocated a date! 10th June 9:45 AM!! We were never allocated a date, ever!

So, to tell the truth, my hopes were a bit up, thinking that we might get a new flat after all. When the result was officially out at 2 pm, I logged on and checked the result, only to find a big big number staring back at me, 1190. Naturally, I was sian, but like I said, it was kind of expected already. Like rubbing salt to my wound, my Chinese national colleague who already owned a flat in Sengkang, came to me to ask what number did I get. I was a bit puzzled at first, then realised that he applied for this balloting exercise too. I told him my number, and he was like "wah, so big? I got 652 leh" Inside I was like -.-; "wtf" but outside i needed to :-D "really? wow!"

Sigh.. I don't really know how the system works, and I don't really care anymore. I just want to say to our "Gahmen" that don't blame the people for marrying late or low birthrate if we have to lucky draw for our flat.

Application to HDB for permission to get married...... DENIED!

Snippets from the marriage convention

Hello all!

I think my past few entries have been ranting entries so I have decided to write about something more constructive bah. Ah mi and I attended a marriage convention a couple of weeks ago and I think I'll share what we have learnt there at the seminar for any courting, marrying or married couples bah. Single people can learn some stuff too! Wahahaha! The following are the notes I took down during the seminar. :)

So here it goes:

Tips for maintaining a good married relationship - G.I.F.T

G - Get in the game

I - Invest in a great sex life

F - Figure it out, decision making together

T - Tough on yourself, Tender on each other

So for "G" point, if I remember correctly, it means that you have to drill it in your head that you are in a serious relationship already. So it's time to behave and act in a responsible manner, taking into consideration not only yourself, but also your partner in every action that you take. I guess the "F" point means similar thing.

As for the "I" point, I don't know yet leh.. *blush* any experienced couples out there please let me know, okay? :)

And finally "T". This is a point where I think it's very important. Most of the time, when things go wrong, people have a tendency to blame someone for it. For couples, that someone is usually the partner. This is quite a bad thing to do as it really damages a relationship. So like what the speakers at the marriage convention said, be tough on yourself! However this have to be both ways, of course, if not one side will "kena" bullied until quite bad one leh.

Let me see ah.. next up in my notes is the phrase "Emotion follows decision - money = bad" *scratch head* I can't really remember what exactly the speakers said, but I think it'd got something to do with couples getting very emotional about decisions related to money. The Chinese has a saying 钱不是万能的，但是没钱是万万不能的. Which is quite true to some extent, and money does have a way of hurting relationships most of the time. So I guess it's trying to tell us to cool it when it comes to money. While money is important, it definitely is not more important than the relationship, right?

A graph is next, but please don't expect me to draw a graph here hor.. my art get very high marks one, D7, so I don't want to "wow" you all too much with my drawing here. :P I shall just describe the graph in words bah. This is a graph of marital satifaction against life stages, and it is most definitely not a straight line (more like the lines on a Richter scale when a 7.0 earthquake hits).

• At the first stage, wedding, the satisfaction level is still relatively high, due to the excitement of the wedding and all. Then it slowly drops as the excitement of the wedding and a new life settles in, couples having their first fights and all.
  
  
• Next stage will be the birth of the first child. The freedom of the couple is suddenly lost. The husband suddenly has to fight for the attention of the wife now. So from this stage on, the gradient is going down even steeper.
  
  
• A major upheaval follows when the child enters school, a lot of divorces, remarriages happen during this period. Couples are advised to have someone whom they can talk to and have advice from, sort of a mentor couple.
  
  
• If they survive this rough period, things will... continue to go down. :S this is due to mid life crisis of the wife. At this stage, they will be wondering what is their purpose in life. Husbands, please don't reply with :"Cooking, cleaning up and doing laundry loh!" That's like the worst possible answer to give.
  
  
• Next stage is another big earthquake as it will reach the mid life crisis of the husband, menopause for the wife and the teenage years of the kid. I would say this is the lowest point of the entire marriage so prepare for it bah.
  
  
• However, if you survive this second earthquake, there will be good times ahead, as the children will start having their own lives, giving the couple more private space for each other. :D The graph will start going up at this point (finally.. phew!).
  
  
• Finally, after reaching the peak of the graph sometime after the big shakeup, the slope goes down again due to old age, and the sorrow of losing your partner.

And that my friends, is the graph of our lives ahead. Looking at the actual graph and summarising, I would say that from the point that a couple gets married, the marital satisfaction will keep going down until the couple reaches their 50s, even 60s before starting to go up again. Sounds scary, isn't it? Marriage is not a bed of roses, that's for sure.

Anyway there are a lot more materials from the seminar that have not been covered yet, but I don't think i have the ability to sit here and type for so long also. So I guess I shall stop here bah. Let me leave a quote that I have read somewhere regarding marriage bah.

"Do not marry someone whom you can live with, marry someone whom you cannot live without"

Cheers,
Pete

P.S. Sorry for the Lor Sor entry hor :P

Hitting the Big '3'

Turned 30 last Monday, but celebrations started the Monday before with Cindy and Gen with dinner at Sakae Sushi. The day before my birthday, my family and Pete celebrated with a buffet lunch at Plaza Market Cafe at Swissotel The Stamford. Food was not bad, but could not eat much...as usual.

There were more dinners with friends and Pete the week of my birthday. Had "Dian Xiao Er", Sakae (again), and Cafe Cartel. Am happy with all my presents, which consist of a special pendant, a collection of Oprah Winfrey DVDs, a Korean drama VCD set that I have wanted to watch for the longest time, a novel, vouchers, a home-made strawberry cheese cake, and not forgetting a surprise delivery of tulips. :D

I feel a little "lost" now that I am actually at the threshold of the 30s. Well, to comfort oneself a little, I shall just think like what my ex-colleague has pointed out: I'm just on the wrong side of 29. Wahahaha! :O

Happy Birthday Ah Mi!!!!

A very very happy birthday to my dear ah mi!!! To those (minority) people who reads this blog, you know what to do hor! :P

May you be happy as you can be, and may all of your dreams come true! :-)

Marriage Convention

The weekend passed in a flash again.

Caught up with my reading in between drifting off to sleep on Saturday, while Pete got mobilised to go back to camp. We met up again in the evening, and headed to the club for our weekly swim. Managed to cover only 12 laps this week, but well...it's better than nothing! We headed to Parkway Parade for a late dinner at Central after the swim, and walked around a little before heading home.

We rose and shone bright and early on Sunday morning for breakfast at Swensen's with Pete's brother and his girlfriend. We had bought tickets to attend the Marriage Convention at Suntec together. We attended an English and a Mandarin talk by 2 pairs of husband-and-wife counsellors. They gave several real-life examples, and stressed on the importance of communication, as well as the different communication styles to adopt while dealing with different personalities at the same time. Of course, gender differences were also high-lighted. We thought the talks were insightful, and humourous at some points, making them more interesting as well. Pete and I are considering some of the marriage preparation courses out there, and will most probably sign up for one before we sign on the dotted line to bind ourselves for a lifetime. Wahahaha! Not that we are not sure of each other, but we hope to better prepare ourselves for the different phases in a marriage, and how to cope with them effectively.

We ended the day with dinner at Thai Accent at Vivocity, before relaxing at Corduroy Cafe with my favourite earl grey tea with mint.

It's going to be a short entry, as I dun think I have caught up with my sleep since last week. Although it was not a very productive day at the office today, (major power trip from 10am - 5pm) it was still quite a disastrous day due to the repercussions of the power trip.

Nevertheless, I did some shopping today at Little Match Girl in Tiong Bahru Plaza! Got myself a good buy of 2 dresses of good quality and comfort for $100, and a lifetime membership, and not to mention a free bag worth $49. Woo hoo!

Alrighty, I better head for the shower, and start to prepare for bed. Hope tomorrow brings no surprises in the form of more power trips!

Outta here...